You want to do everything you can to get your ex back but you don’t really know how to go about it. In this article, I explain to you what it is possible to do to win back your ex based on 2 reasons for separation commonly mentioned and less common during my consultations.
Why do you want to win back an ex?
If she’s an ex, it’s because it’s over, and if it’s over it’s because there’s a reason. Very often we try to get her back, when she is the one who dumped us. But it can also happen that you break up with someone and then have regrets and ultimately want to get back with them.
In this article we will mainly talk about the first case, that is to say if it was she who broke up with you. In our opinion, there are two possibilities and two cases where you could possibly get your ex back, that is to say if there is separation because of betrayal (adultery, infidelity, lies etc.), and quite simply when the flame is running out and she no longer has feelings for you.
How to win back your ex?
The first question to ask yourself before wanting to win back your ex is of course why there was a separation. Indeed, depending on what pushed you to separate and break up, we will not act in the same way to find her;
Getting your ex back after betraying them
Trust is precious in a relationship. It can be lost faster than it is gained. When your partner trusts you, it is never taken for granted, even after years of relationships.
Whether your ex preferred to end your relationship because you lied to him or because you cheated on him, you must above all know that this caused suffering for him/her. These are the same sufferings that undoubtedly pushed him to leave you.
In a case like this, you must convince him/her of the sincerity of your regrets to begin to regain his/her trust which is essential if you want to save your relationship. To give yourself your chances of achieving this, your behavior and your speech are decisive. Show yourself to be caring, understanding of their suffering and above all be reassuring. If you have reached the point of separation, it is because his tolerance threshold has been exceeded so you must show a lot of empathy towards him. In short, make him/her understand that after understanding your mistakes, you are ready to do anything to win him/her back.
Getting your ex back who no longer has feelings
One day your ex tells you that he/she needs to feel free and decides to end the relationship. However, you agree to maintain sexuality and certain exchanges with him/her. Being in this situation, you must understand that your ex benefits from the advantages of being a couple and those of being single. He/she continues to communicate with you while being able to flit elsewhere without you having a say. Even if the situation does not suit you at all, you cannot refuse what he/she offers because you are afraid of losing him/her permanently. Except that by accepting this, you put him/her in a fairly comfortable situation, he/she has no reason to re-consider his/her decision.
In a case like this, it is still possible to try to find a stable and constructive relationship. Indeed, if your ex feels the need not to end everything between you, it’s because there is still something there.
You must therefore gradually, over the course of your meetings, give him/her the feeling that you are letting go and that he/she is no longer the center of your expectations. For example, you can make yourself less available when he/she asks you. He will realize that you are starting to move forward on your own because you have plans. Refusing to be intimate with him from time to time can lead him to ask questions. Affirming your expectations when the time is appropriate would also help him think differently about your relationship.
The goal of your approach is not to create additional conflict. You simply have to get your ex to make a choice without giving him a brutal ultimatum that risks turning him on.
Now you know that if you are in one of these two cases, nothing is lost. You can make sure to optimize your reconquest process!
